I told you so.

Today Martin shit his pants. I wish I was joking. He forced yet another fart and this time it didn't end well. I don't know what to say on top of that other than I saw this coming.

"Aw come on man..."

   Today started like any other day; alarm at 8, shoe thrown at 8:01, followed by a long day of studying and classes. The day was surprisingly normal until I went to lunch.While I was in line, I got a text from Martin saying "I was staring at this girls ass. Then I realized it was michaels sister." So that happened.   
   The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, as far as Martin and I, until we decided to get dinner. I had classes until 7:30 at night and so did he, so we decided to go to the buffet after class. Everything was going well until we were going to leave and he realized that the three pounds of ice cream he absolutely needed had melted and was about to overflow in the cup. Martin's genius idea to deal with this was to attempt to pour the cream soup into a cup. Sadly, but not unexpectedly, this didn't go according to plan. He spilled it all over the table and one of the staff spotted him and said "Aw come on man..." Again, I quickly and silently walked away. I'm not sure what happened after that, but I do know Martin was close behind me to make it out the door.
   After dinner when things were starting to wind down, we went to play pool which was fine right up until Martin got cocky and tried to jump the cue ball over one of mine. I was looking at my phone when he was lining up the shot so it was too late to stop him by the time I realized what was happening. All I saw was a white ball flying through the air followed by the blue ball somehow. Looking back, I'm impressed that he managed to launch not one but two balls high enough into the air to make it from roughly the center of the table over the corner. Luckily, he didn't hit anybody and only one guy saw this and gave us a palm-up shrug that said "What the hell are you doing?" I apologized, gathered the balls and went on as if nothing had happened.
   The walk back was uneventful except for the spotting of a rare pack of roller-bladers which was a hell of a sight. They were so peaceful and so majestic. Anyways, that's another day in the books. Wish me luck for tomorrow.

Soo...Martin came back.

This is my Swedish roommates door. Martin was not pleased.

Here goes nothing

   Sorry for the very late start, but I've finally caved and I'm starting this blog. I'll do my best to recap the last few weeks but a lot has happened.

   So far, not a lot has happened other than a few cringe moments. A lot of cringe moments, actually. Martin has decided that college is going to be his time to start winning with the ladies. The only problem is he has absolutely no idea what to say. There have been several moments where he has bragged about his speeding tickets or driving on a suspended license which has always been quickly followed by an awkward laugh and glances searching for a new person to start a conversation with. It hurts to watch.

   I know this may come as a shock to some of you, but Martin has the sense of humor of a prepubescent boy. Nearly every hour he farts or burps loudly and laughs so hard at himself that he cannot carry a conversation past that moment. So that's a lot of fun for everyone.

   Another thing he does that I just absolutely adore is he wakes up at 8 AM for no apparent reason. It would be one thing if we had class before 12 or he needed to do something, but no, we start class at the earliest 3 pm. He also does not wake up to an alarm so his solution to this is to set an alarm anyways so that I wake up from the alarm and wake him up. Naturally, I just threw my shoe at him and went back to sleep.

   That's the cliff notes on what has happened so far, and I am certain it will only get more interesting form here.

   I'll end this post with what has happened so far today. Today was the first look fair which allows new students, like Martin and myself, to discover new programs and clubs. Martin thought it would be funny to ask the athletics booth for posters of all the girls teams so he can hang them around our suite. I silently and quickly walked away. Sadly, he caught up, arms full of 18" by 24" prints of intimidating women. We made it back and with a huge grin on his face, he hung up every last one of those posters around our suite, one of which was behind the sink so that when you look in the mirror you see the field hockey team staring right back at you.

   After Martin left for class, my Swedish roommate showed up and was terrified. He went around the suite and took down all of the posters except one to appease Martin. Martin hasn't come back from class yet to see what has happened but I'll be sure to let you know what happens when he does.